Something's Got to Give

Roll your eyes, Miss Marilyn. It's that sort of post.

Barre class last night. A tough class -- and I'm playing catch-up thanks to my two-week exercise freeze. It's amazing how fast muscles regress. I'm certainly paying for this nugget of knowledge.

I managed to stay fairly upright on the physio ball. But then a lunge sequence started. And within two moves, I fell flat on the floor. Luckily in the back of the room (and -- more luckily -- only my ego was bruised), but that moment brought me as close to a physical meltdown as I've ever had in public.

(I come from a family of cryers -- for happy and sad things. Different from my kin, however, is my personal challenge of crying at frustrating/anger-inducing things. I've come to accept this personal weakness and have coping mechanisms to keep the tears in check when they're not appropriate. But let me tell you, anger tears are the worst -- and absolutely the most difficult to control.)

You see, sustaining a lunge when your lower stomach gets in the way of a full stretch and balance -- even though you could do it if the physical barrier wasn't there -- is beyond difficult. Forget about knee and joint issues; we're talking actual inability to reach around, brace on the floor, and hold position.

People think overweight folks don't exercise because they are lazy. And sure, there may be truth in that -- but no more so than the regular lazy population. What gets me is not that workouts are challenging or sweaty or gasp-inducing (they should be), but the sheer ignorance of what is physically possible by many people.

Imagine going to any given workout knowing there will be a moment where you outright fail. That's what I have to overcome mentally. Every. Single. Time.

I've had instructors stare blankly in my face when I've asked for props or modifications to work around my stomach (yet they'll always help a pregnant woman -- I'm at a loss on this one). I've suffered through rashes and broken skin in places you don't want to consider. I'm motivated to make this work because I am ridiculously stubborn. But there are times you want to give in because the mental stress of it all is just too much.

My new buddy Karen reached out to me in the silliness of the last couple weeks to share a few links and ideas of why my body refuses to let go, despite eating lower-carb (30-40g/day) AND low calorie (1600-1800/day). Pick your nutritional theory -- I'm doing it.

Some of the ideas -- such as sleeping in a totally dark room (we do...until the sun comes up and then it's HELLO, SUNSHINE!) and eliminating dairy for possible autoimmune/inflammation issues -- seem test-worthy. But then she sent me this:

"We've seen people eating an anti-inflammatory paleo diet for upwards of a year with little change in scale weight. They feel better, but weight is slow to budge. Then suddenly, 'something' changes and weight loss is rapid and easy." (boldface mine)

And really, you have to ask yourself: When do you say "enough is enough?" When do you stop believing that it's all going to come together? And -- personal irritation here -- why in HELL is it always people who have never had a weight problem (or alternatively men who lost 80+ pounds in a month -- don't get me started on that) who are telling us to just keep going, trust in the system, it'll all be fine. There are many days where it doesn't feel fine. There's a LOT more mental anguish and -- for the first time in my life -- sheer body hatred going on over here.

You should know I'm doing this not because of vanity or fashion or any of the usual self-involved reasons, but to avoid my family's diabetic and cancer-riddled fate. And, hopefully, in order to reduce my chances of a complicated pregnancy sometime in the next year. These are my goals. This is why the number on the scale -- and its refusal to change -- is so devastating to me.

I'm not giving up. I do feel more alert, less sluggish, and have far less cravings eating the way I do now than I did before. But I don't know that I can give any more. I'm being asked to have faith where science should provide. And, try as I might to find what I'm doing wrong, I know (and The Brit has assured me) that I'm not doing anything wrong. I've been failed -- by the system, by biology, by experts, by expectations.

When do you wave the white flag? Because I'll tell you -- I've got a pile full of Kleenex sitting here that, though soggy, can be waved at any time.

Feeding the Soul

The Mean Reds. Boy, did I ever have a case of them this week. And I assure you, my hair wasn't nearly as coiffed as Our Audrey is displaying here.

In case you haven't seen Breakfast at Tiffany's (which is a wrong that should be immediately corrected, by the way): "The Mean Reds are horrible. It's when you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of."

It doesn't happen to me often -- thank goodness -- but each experience with the Mean Reds is different. This one manifested as an almost total personal paralysis. I managed to continue business as usual, but outside of my home office I was an intolerable mess. Non-communicative; desperate for sleep, yet reverting to a third shift schedule (never a good sign); completely unable to do more than the bare minimum. How I managed to stick to eating lower-carb is beyond me, but I did. Small victories.

Sometime Friday afternoon, after hours of copyediting for a client, I noticed a shift. As inexplicably as the Mean Reds hit, they left within an hour. I finished work, took a swim, listened to preseason football, and managed to get out the door for dinner with friends. A glass of wine and some olives later, it was as if this horrible, awful, no-good week never happened.

Yesterday, The Brit and I slept in, leisurely lunched, and did a little antique hunting. Happy hour with friends turned into many hours, a dissertation of the pros and cons of dating a sea captain, late supper, and merriment into the wee hours. Today, we headed north to the Musical Instrument Museum and barely scratched the surface of their amazing collection. And I realized something, somewhere around Mozambique...

Perhaps this new way of living -- this diet or lifestyle or what-have-you -- is more than simple numbers and calculations. Perhaps the bigger part of it is also evaluating what is critical to invigorating your life force and what is, literally and figuratively, dead weight. Good people and a sense of community are as essential to me as water and breathing. As is music, some of which can stir me at such a base, primal level that I (shockingly!) can't put the feeling into words. I just know it's right and incredibly vital to who I am.

This weekend reminded me what I crucially need. And suddenly, part of that need is to get back to dance classes and movement. I'm hopefully saying goodbye to the Mean Reds for quite some time now, but I'm grateful for what this bout taught me. And for the good sense to know that everything -- even mental states -- balance out in the end.

Good Eats: The Brit's Famous Chicken

Last year, a small portion (about 20 -- yes, that's small) of my family descended on Phoenix for cousins' graduations. Inevitably, I invited the whole bunch over for "an evening catered by Grill Master Steven."

Minutes later, The Brit ran into my office, panicking. "Grill Master Steven?!! We just got the grill! I barely know how to turn it on!!"

I assured him it would be fine. Just steaks and chicken. Maybe some grilled vegetables. And then I immediately skedaddled for a few work days in New York.

While I was gone, The Brit grilled "test steaks" every night (to my and many NYC friends' hooting delight as he sent photos and reviews). And fiddled with "some way to make chicken interesting."

We laughed then, but let me tell you: My Man Make Fire very, very well. In a year, he has indeed turned into a Grill Master -- everything from steaks to ribs to fruit and vegetables and back again.

But the chicken. The chicken has a reputation all its own. It's made ridiculously picky eaters and true gourmands swoon. And the funny thing is: it's so simple.

We use boneless, skinless chicken breasts because they're easy, but you can use any chicken part (or heck -- poultry or maybe even firm fish?) that you like. Consider doubling or tripling the recipe -- it's great the next day and makes an unbeatable chicken salad with just a little mayonnaise, mustard, and a chopped celery stalk and/or scallion. Or you can dice up leftovers and sprinkle on many different soups.

The Brit's Famous Chicken

Serves 2-4, depending on how hungry you are

2 chicken breasts

1 cup mix of chopped fresh herbs, particularly parsley, marjoram, basil, tarragon -- "but whatever's available is OK"

1 whole lemon's rind, grated

Juice of the same lemon -- "pulp is good for extra lemonyness"

Equal amount of olive oil to lemon juice

About 1 tbsp. of mustard -- "dijon works, but a mix of brown and English is better"

Pinch of kosher salt

A few good grinds of pepper

Place everything except the chicken into a snap-top container. Shake well to combine. Add chicken breasts "and stab them with a fork several times on both sides." Shake again. Allow to marinate for at least 30 minutes "but an hour is better." Preheat grill during last 15 minutes of marinating.

Grill on medium-high direct heat about 6-7 minutes per side or until meat registers 155-160 degrees F. Pour any remaining marinade over chicken before flipping to second side to keep it moist.

When done, remove to clean plate and allow chicken to rest 10 minutes before serving.

Try this with:

• Roasted cauliflower: break head into florets and scatter on baking sheet; toss with 2-3 tbsp. olive oil, salt, pepper, and 3 good dashes cumin; roast for 20-25 minutes at 400 degrees, stirring once midway through roasting
• Grilled zucchini, garnished with a little parmesan cheese
• A simple salad or sauteed kale

Over and Under and Through

Recalibrate. It's what I try to do when Things Aren't Working the Way They're Supposed To. In other words, my motto of over 20 years: "You can bitch, or you can do."

Weighing in this week showed I lost 1.2 pounds, almost back to where I was before the Great Disappointment of August 8th. Better news, sure, but not good enough. After a rant and wail, I did some thinking:

• Have I been totally in line with no sugar/no flour? Theoretically, yes...but there was my birthday dinner. And my aunt's birthday dinner. And my grandma's birthday dinner. No kidding -- I have six close family members (including me) with birthdays in a 2.5 week period. Not to mention about eight friends' birthdays during the same stretch of time. HELLO LEOS!
• Eating out. That salad dressing seemed a little sweet...and I forgot to ask for it on the side, so of course ended up with drenched lettuce. The gravy...only a spoonful, but surely it contained flour. Splitting just one sushi roll is OK, right? Wrong.
• Booze. Allowing for a glass of wine, no problem. But four on a Saturday night? Even spaced over the course of many hours? Adds up, perhaps?
• Portion sizes? Snacking? Getting better, but still an issue due to habit. Or boredom. Or both.

And so, I recalibrate. I hold myself accountable. And I move back into the tried-and-true:

• Dear Diary: Today I had...a half-pound of ground beef for breakfast?! Sure, hunger kicked in big time after all-morning blood draw fasting, but who truly needs that much at one sitting? (NB: This meal was an honest one-off, but illustrative of what happens when I don't pay attention.) Keeping a food log helps me remember where I am in a day and holds me to a place of honesty. For people like me who can't grasp "don't eat unless you're hungry," it's also a way to remind yourself of what's gone into your body in the last few hours. Often that is enough to curb thoughts of more.
• Doing the Grams: 30 grams of carbs (minus fiber). 60-80g of protein. These are my daily goals. Not difficult, if you keep a diary that calculates as you go -- and shows you where you could cut back and/or make wiser choices in future, if you make an honest mistake.
• Remember the Good: Is my face more defined? (Yes.) Are my jeans loose? (Hell, yeah -- and my belt is on the second-to-last notch for the first time in two years.) Do I feel better overall? (Absolutely.) Maybe I need to focus more on this than a silly, slow-moving number on a scale.

I can be logical and do all of this and hope for the best. The struggle is truly mental. Mind over matter, especially when your matter doesn't want to help in the slightest. And patience is not your virtue.

What do you do to recalibrate or re-up yourself for the challenges ahead? What works and what are simply platitudes? I'd love to know some of your tricks.

Everybody Eats When They Come to My House

At The Hacienda, the beginning of football season is cause for merriment. Particularly after the nonsense of the NFL lockout, we couldn't help but have a few friends over for the first preseason game on Friday evening.

Between somewhat watching the game and exploring our bizarre selection of digital aerial UHF channels (no cable at our house!), I received one of the nicest compliments I've ever heard:

"I always love coming to your house, Stacey, because I know I'll laugh a lot."

I managed a thank you, then caught back a tear by chomping into a chicken wing. That's the whole point of our house: good people, a little ridiculousness, and a whole lot of hilarity. Oh, and plenty of food:

Truer words were never sung at The Hacienda.

For this impromptu gathering, I put together (read: picked up) a spread that most anyone could enjoy:

• Buffalo wings
• Stuffed sausage mushrooms
• Guacamole
• Crudités with ranch dip
• Cheeses and crackers (traditional crackers for some; flax crackers for us no wheaties)

Wine or beer flowed for some; others grabbed sodas or sparkling water. Either way, a snacky dinner with friends provides more than mere physical nourishment. You leave feeling content and full -- not because of the food, but because of the folks who choose to spend time with you. And that's something I never take for granted.

Linky-Loo: Tiny Kitchens and Big People

Links! Get yer hot links here! Mmmm...hot links...

Appearing on the Internet this week:

• Obesity Counseling Should Focus on Neurobehavioral Processes, Not Personal Choice: In other words, willpower is not the answer. Nice to see these ideas -- also discussing environmental cues and our "toxic food environment" -- out of Rush University Chicago.
• Does It Really Cost More to Buy Healthy Food?: In two words -- yes, usually. Our friend Dr. Nestle has an intriguing solution: move some of the corn/wheat/soy subsidies (the main reason why processed foods are so cheap) toward produce farmers.
• Got A Tiny Kitchen? Five Tips to Get the Most Out of Your Space: Hat tip to Twitter pal Penelope for this link -- great ideas, no matter the size of your kitchen. Though I will say: my inner New Yorker thinks her kitchen is actually normal-sized. Heh.
• How One Woman's Weight-Loss Story Went Awry: Ahhhh, the crossroads between body acceptance, health, and personal comfort. And then everyone else's opinions about your responsibilities to yourself -- or is it to society at (*ahem*) large? And why is it any of our business anyway? (Official stance: Go Team Jess.)
• There Is No Single Cause of (or Treatment for) Obesity: If I had more personal distance from the subject, this is exactly what I wanted to say on Thursday's post. I mean, this chart alone. I need a wallet-size printout of it so I can slap it on the table next time someone says to me "just eat less and move more!" Thanks to Paleo Periodical for the heads up on this one.

Wow. Lots of serious grumbling "arrrrgh!" theory, eh? You see where my head is this week. I'm hoping the weekend will turn it back to livelier, gobblier pursuits. Here's hoping.

Good Eats: Shrimp Chowder Deluxe

Next to Things in Jars (yes, I have a teeny weeny condiments-and-pickles obsession), Foods in Bowls are my favorite kitchen treats. Ask The Brit -- if we can possibly eat it out of a bowl, we do. Or at least I do.

I don't know why I love bowls so much -- maybe it's the idea that you can hug your food that much closer to you? Or you have a neat and tidy excuse for getting every last drop at the end (guilty!)?

So you can imagine my deep love of soup. Hot, cold, lukewarm, and oh-so-delicious day after. Soup IS good food, as they say; however, there's rarely a reason to serve it up fresh from the can. It's just so easy to make your own -- and a great way to be more resourceful about what's in your fridge and wallet.

I do make allowance for boxes of store-bought chicken broth or stock. Much as I love making my own, it's rare I have enough bones on hand to make the effort worthwhile. And then there's the issue of freezer space. Unless you have a separate deep-freeze and access to multiple carcasses, I hereby give you permission to buy boxed stock. Except for the one little recipe about to follow...

Shrimp Chowder Deluxe is a great beginner "I made this TOTALLY from scratch!" soup. Why deluxe? Because it's completely luxurious and light, yet takes almost no effort. And the best part is: you'll end up with enough shrimp stock to freeze a couple cups for next time. People will think you're Madame/Monsieur Fancy Pants Vivant when you mention casually, "Oh yes, I believe I have some homemade shrimp stock in here somewhere..." then whip up a meal for royalty in less than 15 minutes. Et voilà!

Shrimp Chowder Deluxe

Serves 4, plus leftover stock for the next batch

For the stock:

Approx. 8-9 oz. (1/2 pound-ish) of shrimp and/or lobster shells*

5-6 cups water

A big handful of leftover stems from various green herbs (parsley and dill are my favorites, but use what you have)

2 bay leaves

5-6 peppercorns

2-3 big pinches of kosher salt

2 cups total of roughly chopped onion, celery and carrot** (or "mirepoix" -- you can also get this mix pre-chopped and [gasp!] frozen, if you need to shave off a whole extra minute of prep)

Place everything except the vegetables in a dutch oven (or big pot) over medium-high heat. Bring to just below a boil, then turn down to simmer. Add vegetables. Stir and allow to simmer for 15-20 minutes. If foam rises to the top, skim it off -- but you don't have to be obsessive about getting every last bit. Carefully strain out and discard all solids, leaving just the liquid.

Measure out 4 cups of stock if proceeding with shrimp chowder recipe. Allow remaining stock to cool completely, then freeze unless using in the next 24 hours.

For the chowder:

2 tbsp. butter

1 cup total of small diced onion, celery and carrot

2 cloves garlic, minced

4 cups shrimp stock***

1 tbsp. Mrs. Bragg's Liquid Aminos (or low-sodium soy sauce, as an OK sub)

3/4 lb. peeled and deveined medium-sized shrimp (fresh or frozen, see below)

1/4 C. cream, or to taste

Salt and pepper

1 tbsp. chopped fresh tarragon (semi-optional, but it throws it over the top -- you can experiment with other green leafy herbs, too)

Rinse your Dutch oven or pot, if necessary. Melt butter over medium heat and add vegetables. Saute until soft and fragrant, adding garlic for last 30-60 seconds of cooking. Pour in stock and Mrs. Bragg's. Bring to simmer, then add shrimp and simmer for 2-5 minutes, depending on if your shrimp are raw or pre-cooked, fresh or frozen (I prefer raw as I think they soak up more flavor).

Add cream and tarragon and simmer for two more minutes. Adjust salt and pepper to taste and serve.

Delicious with Cheesy Crispbread (1-2 slices high-fiber crispbread, topped with melted cheese) as a dipper.

Next Day Idea: Shrimp Chowder Deluxe will keep in the fridge for 2-3 days. It's also delicious ice-cold. Lovely on a hot summer day.

* = This is why you should buy shell-on shrimp! They're paying you for this bonus. Next time you make a shrimp dish, just pop all shells/tails into a baggie and keep them in the freezer. It's crazy how much flavor is trapped in a little flimsy shrimp shell. Re: lobster shells, you can try asking your local fishmonger if they have a fresh, free shell or two in the back...you'd be surprised.

** = NOT A CARROT!! I know -- it's on the no-no list; however, the traditional bit in stock is not going to dash your plan to pieces. I personally hate carrots most of the time, so this use doesn't bother me; however, you can easily sub a red bell pepper for the carrot if it concerns you.

*** = You can sub chicken or vegetable stock if you must. Boost it with a little miso paste or clam juice, if you like. It's tasty, but not even in the same area code as this soup when made with shrimp stock. Please, just try making shrimp stock once. Three minutes of chucking stuff in a pot and 15 minutes of idle time make all the difference in the world. Angelic choirs may sing...

The numbers don't lie -- or do they?

In a week full of bottoms dropping out, it gives me no pleasure to say that there's one bottom on the rise.

That would be mine. I was up 1.5 pounds on Monday.

Logically (and, as you can see, it's taken me 72 hours to even discuss it), I tell myself: It's my cycle. I always gain 2-3 pounds of water weight per month that promptly vanishes once this week is over. It's not my fault. The true test will be what registers after this weekend. Blah blah blah.

I won't get into the "fat is a feminist issue" discussion (though it absolutely is). I won't get into the utter ridiculousness of allowing a number to determine your feeling of self-worth, even for a moment or two. I will, however, rant on misconceptions.

Reading through obesity theory and discussion, it's clear to me that a vast majority of people think fat is always caused by a diet filled with fast food, sugary soda, chips, candy, etc. The blatant offenders. For some folks, this may indeed be the problem -- though again, the deeper problem for low-income families is often calorie value per dollar (I promise I'll get into this at some point in the future.).

But what if you DON'T eat fast food, processed food, candy, soda, chips, etc. -- and still gain weight? Then what? Because that's my predicament. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll say I'm a pretty healthy eater. I love vegetables. I eat lean meats, salads and soups in normal portions. I shop organic/wild/grass-fed, etc. as much as possible because I'm privileged enough to make that choice. Hell, I love health food stores and will try just about any weirdo seaweed, exotic seasoning, or vegetarian strangeness you can throw at me. I'm a vinegar and salt girl, not a sweet tooth. And so on.

What happens when people's assumptions about you as a lazy pig just don't hold? And how frustrated am I (and, I suspect, many like me) when other folks eat whatever they want, whenever they want it, with little or no consequence.

No matter what I do -- and this includes everything from liquid diets to eating lower-carb -- pounds have never melted off this body. If I'm lucky, they creep away ounce by painful ounce, often with no rhyme or reason as to what has happened food-wise that week. I now know it's my hormones. I know it's also my thyroid and a combination of other factors, 75% of which are simply not my fault.

Perhaps you can eat cakes and ice cream and pasta galore. I'm thrilled for you -- and extremely jealous. But some of us can't. Genetics are truly half the battle. I'm undoing years of bad dietary advice, coupled with wonky hormones, insulin resistance, and a broken metabolism. For many of us, it's not just "eat less, move more." If only it were that simple...

And if only that stupid scale would show progress in the right direction come Monday morning.

Everybody loves a chart!

"Hey -- what's this?!" That's usually the first comment I hear when people come to our house and see my two-week meal planner taped to an otherwise blank* fridge.

This is generally quickly followed by "Oh, YUM! Can I eat with you guys on Wednesday?" or similar.

Welcome to the joys of meal planning. I know it sounds completely dorky, TOTALLY suburban, and perhaps a wee bit control freaky. If nothing else, it kills spontaneity. Bad, right?

WRONG.

Since keeping my two-week meal planner, our lives, tummies and bank accounts are so much happier. We do a big grocery shop once every two weeks, then supplement on the "off" week by simply picking up fresh produce. In and out in 10 minutes.

This from an avowed Brooklynite who used to live off late-night delivery. Life is crazy and work/family demanding. I get it. Hang with me here.

Dinner is now a snap, because we know what we're having each night -- and get to look forward to it all day long. Planning allows us to try those recipes we keep finding, then losing, then forgetting. Not anymore. We always make enough food for four people, so we have plenty of leftovers for breakfast and lunch the next day.

We choose to dine out two nights a week. This gives us plenty of spontaneous "what are you in the mood for?" choice and time to go out with friends and family. Swapping nights within a week? Why not? Especially on those tough days when I need sashimi, but it's Tuesday night. No problem. We go out Tuesday and have that night's planned meal on Wednesday. Simple.

The other benefit of meal planning is knowing what's in your refrigerator, freezer and pantry at all times. As I plan and look at each recipe, I make my shopping list based off what I need vs. what's already in stock. I'm super-planny, so I also keep a running list of potential future recipes, what's been really good, and what's in the freezer.

By the end of two weeks, our fridge tends to look somewhat empty (barring my love of Things in Jars) -- and that's the point. Use what you need, use it all, and no more. Hardly any food ever goes to waste, which is very important to me.

For example, last night we had garlic shrimp, spaghetti squash lasagna, and green salad. We specifically buy shell-on, U.S. wild shrimp. Why? Because all of those shrimp shells and tails make ridiculously tasty and quick stock -- for free. We saved every bit and threw it in a freezer bag already containing a lobster shell. I cannot WAIT for next Tuesday's shrimp chowder.

(In retrospect, I realize we should have saved and roasted the squash seeds. Ah well. Next time. Now if only I could figure out another use for the squash shell...)

You can see the plan in action here. You'll note each night of the week has a general theme. This is a GENIUS idea I got from the adorably perky Food Nanny. Once you have themes in place, it automatically makes it easy to pick recipes, rather than staring at a cookbook's table of contents thinking "OK, now what?"

This simple devotion of 30 minutes, twice a month, will repay you in a multitude of ways. Try it and see! Then tell me if it works for you.

As for me, I'm off to make a wee drinkie and marinate a flank steak for tonight's Thai Beef Salad. Mmm mmm good.

* = Non-magnetic surface, you see. About the only sad discovery we made upon buying this house (well, that and the fact that our boat of a car won't fit in the garage -- oops). Otherwise, my travel collection of silly magnets would provide a bit of camouflage for this big white sheet of paper.

Hormonal hmmmmm...

A delightful birthday dinner last night -- the chef's tasting menu! We had:

• A seared scallop on rattlesnake beans and venison sausage
• Radish sprouts salad in a sesame vinaigrette with carrot crisps on house-pulled mozzarella
• Crispy halibut with shrimps and a smoky, creamy sauce over one lobster ravioli
• Glazed beef on polenta with wild mushrooms and onions
• Creme brulee (with a candle on top!) for me; pound cake with honey cream for The Brit

Oh, and two slices of bread with dips to start. A glass of champagne and a glass of red wine, too.

Delicious, definitely -- and an experimental treat.

We returned to home around 10:30pm. On the way, I told The Brit how sleepy I felt. Granted, it had been a crazy day involving lots of non-air conditioned car travel. You see, our car's A/C is broken. In Phoenix. In August. Painful to consider, right? But regardless of that, a wave of "I'm tired NOW" hit me very fast and out of the blue. Possibly general exhaustion, but I also get this feeling any time I eat anything high sugar/carb. I hadn't felt it in at least a month...

At 12:30pm, the PMS cramps hit. HARD. This after thinking "hey, I haven't had my usual 7-10 days of painful nonsense!" yesterday. I'm due for PMS to be over tomorrow or Saturday. This is all very strange.

I woke up at least four times last night, needing to walk around or sit upright in order for the cramps to pass. Over-the-counter painkillers do not help, but I took some anyway. No dice.

This all has me to wondering: Is it complete, cyclical coincidence? Or could it be the big shot of sugar I ingested last night after next-to-nothing for a month -- and subsequent insulin surge -- kicked my prostaglandins and other hormones into gear?

If there is one thing I know after my years of working with endocrinologists, it's this: The hormonal system is completely interlinked and beyond delicate. You mess with one, you mess with the others. But is one meal enough to cause such painful consequences?

I am very logy today, but that could be the fact that I didn't sleep well last night. It could be the sugar getting out of my body. Or both. The Brit tells me he feels really tired today as well, despite fairly normal sleep.

I am not one to jump to a conclusion, particularly when other valid factors are in play. But it causes me to wonder...so I crave research. I'll have to look into this. When I have more energy.

Linky-Loo: Musings from Across the Internets

Today's my birthday! And as a present to myself, I'm letting other people do the work.

Here are a few stories that crossed my transom this week -- all of them fascinating and food (heh) for thought. Do they stir opinions? Let me know!

• Where Did the 2000 Calorie Diet Idea Come From?: Intriguing insight into the FDA process to determine 2000 calories as the "optimal" daily range. To my mind, Marion Nestle is a hero among dieticians, even if new science is starting to debunk the "calories in/calories out" dogma. I look forward to her next book with earnest -- it's sure to be a hot topic. By the by, "What To Eat" should be compulsory reading for anyone trying to feed a family, even (especially?) a family of one. Please check it out.
• Primal Travel: My buddy Juliann is guest blogging on the always excellent Paleo Periodical this week and has lots to say about best ways to travel when following a paleo/primal diet. Paleo is very similar to lower-carb in many ways, so this is great insight into how to not only stay on track, but make your fellow passengers VERY jealous of your snack kit!
• Still Counting Calories? Your Weight-Loss Plan May Be Outdated: Jane Brody of the New York Times discusses the latest Harvard University/Nurses Health study, published in the June New England Journal of Medicine. After observing almost 121,000 healthy adults, it turns out some calories may be better than others. Who knew?! Also -- and this should raise a big YAHOO! from any red-blooded American -- moderation and extreme exercise may be overrated. I've yet to read the full study, but look forward to doing so.
• Gyros Crawl: Dominic is quite possibly one of the best food guys out here in Phoenix and always tempts me with his adventures. This one, in particular, is a marvelous show of how good food doesn't have to be foo-foo-la or expensive. Just ask for no pita and you're set! (Disclaimer: I was supposed to accompany him on this crawl, but had to cancel last minute. Still despondent over this turn of events...and craving Z's Greek!)
• Sustainable Food Is Really Expensive, Writer Reports: Coming out of the "duh" category, a reporter at The Atlantic looks into the positioning, pricing, and class issues of obtaining higher quality, organic food. We can read the original article together -- sounds like it might be a bit dramatic (Fabergé eggs?!), but raises a good point re: class issues and food. Something I'm sure to write extensively about in the future.

For my birthday, The Brit got me a cherry/olive pitter AND a copy of Julia and Jacques: Cooking At Home. Does he know me, or what?! I can't wait to dive in and menu plan.

To all the other Leos out there, happy birthday! And to those of you who love us, thanks for putting up with our regal shenanigans.

N.B.: I'm having a guilt-free, special dinner out with The Brit tonight. Old-fashioned dessert may be consumed. I hope it has a candle on top.

What We're Gobbling These Days

Among friends, I've been pretty hush-hush about my new approach to food. After all, talking diets in public is boring. I'd rather focus on the yummy things I get to eat, rather than dwell on what's been put to the side.

The guidelines are really very simple. Here's what's in:

• All vegetables, except roots and tubers.
• Whole meats -- including seafood, poultry, beef, pork, etc. Processed meats (e.g., sausage, bacon, deli meat) can be OK for variety, but labels have to be carefully scrutinized for added sugar/starch. You'd be surprised.
• Eggs -- the whole egg. Not just the whites.
• Full-fat dairy -- including cheeses (hooray!!), butter, cream, sour cream.
• Condiments, herbs, oils, spices, beverages that don't contain sugar. Lots of label reading required here. Beware.

Here's what I can have in small quantities:

• BOOZE. I could be fancy and say "wine or spirits," but let's be real here. A drink a day, if I want. Maybe two on special occasions. Nothing sweet or with sugar, of course.
• Tomatoes, avocados, coconut, lemons, limes -- yes, they're fruit, but have much lower sugar content. A bit here and there makes the world go 'round.
• High-fiber crispbreads (up to two a day) and 100% wheat bran.
• A few nuts -- I keep this to a palmful a day, or else I'd eat the whole jar.
• Dark chocolate -- the 75% or higher kind, up to about 1/4 of a bar a day.
• Sucralose (Splenda), stevia, and aspartame (Nutrasweet), in very small quantities when necessary. For all my "eat real food!" mantra, I am not a martyr. Sugar-free cherry Jell-O is a godsend. As is the occasional Diet Dr. Pepper.

Here's what's out:

• Sugar, in its many forms and disguises.
• Fruit (except those listed above) -- for now. I plan to move fruit up to the "small quantities" list eventually.
• Beans and legumes -- these should move up eventually, too.
• Flour and grains -- yes, even whole grains.
• Low-fat anything, especially dairy. Hallelujah!
• Sugar alcohols, especially maltodextrin, malitol, xylitol, sorbitol, etc.

The Brit has been very supportive and is eating a similar diet. Since he does not have serious weight to lose -- maybe five pounds or so of "Welcome to America!" tummy is all -- he has more flexibility in his day-to-day. He eats a piece of fruit most afternoons for a snack. He's a regular squirrel with all the nuts and peanut butter he puts away. He might have a spoonful of rice or potato when we go out to eat. And he has four or five crispbreads daily instead of his beloved toast (the British practically invented toast, don't you know).

Weight-loss aside,* we've both noticed we feel much more satisfied, with much less need or urge to snack. We don't walk away from the table bloated or stuffed -- we eat what we want, then put away the rest for breakfast or lunch the next day. We eat very, very well, with lots of variety. We look at regular recipes and sort out how we can naturally twist them to our own. Leaving out sugar is simple. And think about it: most starchy sides (pasta, potato, rice, breads) are simply carriers, anyway. To boot, we have dessert a few times a week.

There are other benefits, too. Such as:

• Sleeping more soundly;
• Smoother energy and alertness throughout the day -- no 4pm slump!
• Better digestion and less gas (I said it -- there you go);
• A flatter mid-section;
• What seems to be a drastic reduction in severe PMS cramping, bloating, and crankiness. I'm observing this for the next few months, but if eating lower-carb solves my PMS issues alone, it is worth it.

I'll be heading in for blood work within the next week. I can't wait to see the results.

But enough of this jibber-jabber! WHAT DO WE EAT?!

How about this:

Chicken Puttanesca and Raw Kale Salad -- so delicious!

Note the delightful wine (Fumé Blanc), too.

Yes, this is a Monday night dinner.

And this:

Coconut Popsicles -- heaven on a stick.

Not exactly deprivation. Not even close.

These recipes are also very simple. I love to cook, but I'm not good with too much fussing. With rare exception, there's no need to spend more than 30-ish minutes actively cooking, not including oven time, when you do nothing but wait.

The Raw Kale Salad recipe can be found here (leave out the bread crumbs -- you won't miss them). Read on for the rest...

Chicken Puttanesca (Serves 2)

2 boneless chicken breasts, butterflied (or 4 cutlets) -- skin is OK!

2 tbsp. olive oil, divided

Salt and pepper

1 28-oz can whole peeled tomatoes (check for added sugar -- you just want tomatoes and juice)

3 cloves garlic, minced

1/4-1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes (to taste -- more is spicier)

1/4 cup finely chopped onion (use regular Spanish, white or yellow onions -- not sweet onions, like Vidalia or Walla Walla)

2-3 inch squirt of anchovy paste**

2 tbsp. small capers

1/4 cup chopped olives (green are traditional, but use what you like or have)

A bit of grated Parmesan cheese or chopped parsley, for optional garnishes

In a skillet, heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil over medium-high heat. Season cutlets on one side with salt and pepper. Place in skillet, seasoned side down, then season facing-up side. Saute until cooked through and golden on both sides. Remove to a clean plate.

While chicken sautes, drain tomatoes (save the juice for another use). Using kitchen scissors, snip the tomatoes inside the can until somewhat diced. This does not (and should not) need to be perfect. Theoretically, you can use pre-diced tomatoes, but they will turn to mush. Don't do it. Always buy whole tomatoes -- they're tastier and, oddly, cheaper.

Add remaining oil to same pan. Turn heat down to medium. Saute onions and garlic for a minute or until fragrant. Add red pepper flakes and saute for 30-60 seconds more, until onions are soft. Add tomatoes, anchovy paste, capers, olives and a pinch of salt. Stir to combine, then allow to simmer for about 10 minutes. The sauce will reduce and thicken.

Right before serving, pour any chicken juices into the sauce (yum) and plate the chicken. Spoon enough sauce over the chicken to cover generously. You will probably have leftover sauce, which is fantastic the next day.

Sprinkle with Parmesan and/or parsley, if you like, and serve.

Next Day Idea: I had a fantastic, two-minute breakfast the next morning of leftover kale salad, topped with two scrambled eggs and a spoonful of cold puttanesca. SO GOOD.

~*~

Coconut Popsicles (Makes 6)

Each of these has 3g carbs and they couldn't be simpler. The hard part is waiting for them to freeze. Texture-wise, the resulting pops are halfway between a traditional popsicle and ice cream.

1 can regular coconut milk (NOT "lite" -- also check to make sure no extra sugar is in your coconut milk)

2 tsp. real vanilla extract

1 tbsp. Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup (Torani or DaVinci brands are good)

Shake up your can of coconut milk very well before opening. Pour into a bowl with extract and syrup. Stir to combine. Pour into popsicle molds and pop (ha!) into freezer.

If your molds have those snap-on sticks, great. Just wait about 3-4 hours until they're frozen solid and you're good to go. If you have an old-fashioned topless mold like I do, cover the molds with plastic wrap and wait 90 minutes before sticking your sticks into each semi-frozen pop, then allow to freeze completely.

Obviously, this recipe is open for all sorts of experimentation. Try different extracts, spices and herbs. I tried using Sugar Free Cherry Syrup, but it didn't do much for me. Maybe other syrups would. Chop up an ounce of dark chocolate or nuts and stir them in, but make sure to keep in mind the additional carbs per pop. Let me know what popsicle dreams you create!

* = Weigh-in update: I'm down 2.6 pounds this week. That's 10 pounds total, more than I've lost in the last three years combined, despite all efforts.

** = Anchovy paste is totally where it's at. Buy one tube (usually in the pasta aisle, near the tomato pastes), throw it in the fridge, and you'll never have a "now what the heck do I do with the rest of this tin of anchovies?!" moment again. Of course, you can use a regular anchovy or two in place of the paste. And please don't tell me you hate anchovies. Do you like Caesar salad? Then you like anchovy paste. It adds a depth of flavor (not fishiness!) to this dish that you can't replicate otherwise. Give it a try!